Random Thoughts

Nobody Changes

2012-02-01T13:09:00.001+05:30

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. ~John Kenneth Galbraith

Ever felt that the same things go wrong every time?
It's like a curse. We tell people stories about how it happened to us. How we got out of those terrible times and then right then it starts happening all over again. You thought it wouldn't again or even if it did you're all mature and learned to deal with it this time. Does it really go well this time? I doubt it. It crashes your world again and you do exactly what you promised yourself you wouldn't do. It's not that you don't know what should be done because you know exactly. But.. you couldn't you wouldn't because that would mean you'll have to change your ways. You'll have to change yourself. You'll have to own up to all those past nightmares which you had conveniently blamed on others. It's just not acceptable. There has to be a big conspiracy against you. Perhaps it's god himself who hates you.

We are all aware of our strengths, shortcomings and idiosyncrasies too. Likewise, we all can see the Devil within but we can't let go of him because he's internal to us. We turn to him in times of need. So what if he chooses to destroy our life we still can't pay the small price of killing the ego/the shortsightedness/the madness. We live on with our respective devils and it grows stronger and stronger burning us inside.

We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. ~Lynn Hall

Start over, shall we?

2011-12-28T13:00:00.001+05:30

With every passing day the need for a start over seems more and more warranted. There are so many things that need to be set right. Almost everything seems imperfect in retrospect. It's like burden which is becoming heavier by the day slowing me down. You can't just leave the past and start over. It doesn't work like that.

Nothing's ever done.... No matter what you do, or what you pretend, the past is there. You can't ignore it.
JOHN SAUL, When the Wind Blows

It's the past that defines us, that describes us.
It's the past that restricts us, that constricts our path.
That drives us and disappoints us.

The past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions.
ECKHART TOLLE, The Power of Now

I want to go back to the start again. I know now what I ~~need to~~ needed to do. The battles I must have won, the battles I should never have volunteered for. Promises (to myself) that I should never have made. Ideals, morals, fairness are the real vices for which there IS no rehab.

But I can't really go back now can I? Past, clowns to the left of me and jokars to the right, and here I am stuck in the middle with you.

Conversation killer

2011-12-06T01:04:00.002+05:30

LOL

I hate it when I get a "lol" in reply... I mean if you feel like laughing then go Haha at least it sounds like a laugh! When I get a lone lol I choose to end the conversation more often than not (it also depends on who sent it and my inclination to put myself through some more lol horror)

Why people choose to use this Conversation killer?

1. To KILL the conversation. Of course if you actually wanna kill the conversation then you can go ahead and LOL. It would work even better than HMMM...

2. You actually say "LOL" out loud instead of laughing in the 'real' world. ( Saw such a creature in some movie/series )

3. You actually believe that it's Cooler to LOL then to laugh.

4. You genuinely have nothing to say and LOL is your way of dealing with awkwardness.

5. You've not heard about the 'cooler' version of LOL which is LAUL.

What is YOUR reason?

Coming back to life

2011-11-13T16:45:00.000+05:30

I can't remember the last time I was chilling on a Sunday evening waiting for people to assemble downstairs for cricket. Today truly has arrived after a long and tiring wait. There are countless articles about life in an Indian B-school but I'd say you got to experience it to really understand what it's all about.

I remember that the wait at the Cal airport while heading to Delhi during durga puja vacations felt longer than my entire stay there. I doubt if I ever felt as reluctant about leaving home as I did while heading back for summers. Although it was a little comforting to see that other shared my fears.

As much as I wanted to come back to school, joining a B-school was more like joining a race. There was no time. There is never any. You've no choice but to forget about your life outside of campus. Even campus life is restricted to quizzes and placement prep. Going to those parties with that guilty conscience was fun in its own way.

Now that we're past those dreaded first few months where I wasted more time worrying about work rather than doing some. Let the real college drama begin!

MadMen

2011-06-11T13:18:00.001+05:30

Acting crazy or depressed!

Eat a lot or nothing at all!

Talk a lot or completely hush!

Extremely stupid or annoyingly cautious!

Super confident or shaking really!

Too Active or completely dormant!

Too friendly or extremely distant!

Too judgmental or too humble!

Sloshed or SOBER!

Salad or Butter Chicken!

Hence - Mad! In a world which preaches Moderation!

How do I know all this?
Well...

Vacations

2011-06-10T22:40:00.000+05:30

Who doesn't like vacations?
Who wouldn't? :S

Do we all look forward to go on one?
Yes!

Is there a threshold period for them to last?
Don't think so (truth is YES!)

After the threshold period which is about 18 days and 14 hours in my opinion...

Do you start talking to people you generally never have time for?
Yes!

You do stupid things just because you're bored?
Yes!

You end up feeling very irritated?
Yes!

You start feeling that all your friends are corporate rats?
Yes!

You have a little too much time to think about your life!
Yes!

Does the last part suck?
Oh Yes!

Do you take rapid measures to fix things which will prevent you from reflecting too much on your life?
Definitely!

Especially after a few drinks?
Of course!

Does that push you further in the mess?
Well, Of course!

Now do you wish for the vacations to get over?
So do!

Does this mean that you're missing work?
Are you kidding me? :P

Extreme Emotions

2011-06-07T13:57:00.000+05:30

Can emotions not be extreme?
If yes then are those really emotions?

What really puzzles me is when people ask Why you feel that way?
If I knew I won't call them emotions now would I?
I don't know why I feel like beating some people to pulp with my bare hands and protect some from everybody else.

I can give a long list of reasons but the truth be told they'll just be made up excuses. I don't know why I hate someone or why I love someone. But I can tell you the feelings are never moderate. The feelings should NEVER be moderate. I suck at moderation and feel bad about it sometimes. Not only emotions but otherwise too. I don't know about other things but emotions shouldn't be moderate or temporary. I mean in a world where everything is temporary if you can't even feel a certain way about someone or something then I don't see you having any sort of an identity. You don't have any ground zero.

When do we search for peace?

2011-06-03T01:56:00.002+05:30

It's not new to hear somebody or may be yourself craving for a peaceful vacation. As life gets more and more out of control the craving follows. We of course don't really give into our craving. Not until life's back in control or to say when it's feasible(work is sane enough) to take a time off.

So if you think about it we never really let go of our mad lives to experience peace but it's during those peaceful times we fool ourselves. We tell ourselves that we've made this happen as planned. We go for AOL kinda courses when we're most at peace with our lives anyway. Not to say that these courses are bad or good for that matter but the fact is that no one runs for peace when he/she needs it the most. We just choose to fool ourselves later. Can you imagine madness in office or at home and u leaving for a peaceful vacation. We search for peace when we've time and when we've time we're generally peaceful...

Learning to drive

2011-06-02T15:15:00.001+05:30

This is a topic I mostly avoid because it's immensely embarrassing but since off late I've good stuff going on so i don't really care about not having a driving license.

Well I think I drove for the first time when I was in 5th standard. Yes our driver used to let me do that when my folks weren't around. And as all driving instructors tell their students he also told me that I'm naturally good at it. That time I couldn't wait to turn 18 and get a license to freedom. But as destiny had it I no longer had a car. So i decided to wait.

Once in murthal we went to pick up Rahul's degree. As he stepped to go to a lone departmental store in his barren campus Ritesh gave into my request of letting me go for a small drive. I started and I very well knew that Rahul would come running for his 'baby' so I decided to really hit the gas as there was no way i could afford it to come to a halt straight away. As expected Rahul had his jaw dropped and he never ran like that on the cricket field either. Ritesh had his heart racing very well knowing he might end up being the scapegoat here. As I looked back to make these observations the car headed towards a tree inside a narrow ditch. I 'seemed' to be completely out of control and I heard *beep* *beep* *beep* from behind which wasn't helping my driving I must add. I of course steered back onto the road very comfortably. They did let me drive till the gate then but still for some inexplicable reason Rahul starts breathing heavily when we talk about that incident.

Three years later my driving experience in Goa however was much better and I must add Karan is one patient instructor. Also, he couldn't believe that it was the first time I was driving may be our family driver was telling the truth after all.

After so many years I'd lost interest in driving but I think it's time that I hit the road so today I join a driving school not because I need to learn but because it's okay to damage their cars :)

Humility costs money

2011-05-31T00:45:00.000+05:30

Can you really be humble? I mean if you're a celeb then it could be a distant possibility but is it possible for the ordinary citizen that you are(after all you've time for reading this how important could you be) to be humble?

Think about it if you don't like selling yourself and you're the kinda guy who's not yet on tv then are you qualified to be called humble? You can definitely be the 'cool' 'chilled-out' 'rooted' chap next door but never the brilliant yet humble, successful yet grounded friend everyone loves.

On the other hand humility without the fame could be misconstrued as under-confidence or incompetence. So it begs the question is humility another measure of social status which requires a lot of money but can never be bought?

Who all can you be humble with? Masses? Media? I mean are you even supposed to be humble with friends? Won't it come out as arrogance too?

Is it all worth the hard work after all we are who we are...

Back Home

2011-05-23T21:14:00.000+05:30

We make decisions every second of every day during our existence. There are times we retrospect and wonder what was sensible and what was a blunder. At times we even spend a bomb on a vacation just for some peace to clear our head.

I think the best vantage point is Ground Zero itself. The place where you grew up. Where you first dream of everything you want to be and everything you want for yourself (We tend to confuse the two don't we?). The place where people still remember you as the kid who broke their window on a summer evening and then had the courage to come and ask for the ball as well :)

It's the place where everyone comes back or visit to share their life journeys with people who couldn't care more about impressions & reputations. Where you could be that silly little kid again and talk about incidents & ambitions which are otherwise never talked about.

Not often one gets a chance to taste the long lost past again. It marks the end of a journey and the beginning of a new challenge. And until the starting gun is heard it's a carnivale.

Best Profession Ever

2011-05-20T00:19:00.000+05:30

To crack jokes at people and then get paid by the very same people. Can there be a better job?

STAND UP COMEDY IS THE SHIT

Recently I had the 'pleasure' of going to the Comedy Store. And It was money well spent.

You can order food and drinks inside the audi but avoid drinking too much too quickly because your attempted escape to relieve yourself won't go unnoticed. Ringing phone on the other hand would guarantee you the experience of the Comedy Store's version of "Phone a Friend" where the friend would have no idea what he's up against.

The host and the best comedian of the lot was the most unprepared and was the most chatty one as well. I happen to know some people who I believe have the "skill-set" for this coveted job.

1. Karan Kalia - If he gives up the motto "Why STAND if you can sit" after all it's stand up comedy.
2. Aditya Changavalli - If he can start seeing a Trichologist after all who'd want to watch a disgruntled bald comedian.

Moving on

2011-05-15T23:36:00.000+05:30

If someone had asked me three years ago about my expectations while moving to Bombay I might have said a lot of things or may be nothing but there's no way I could have predicted the way things turned out.
I've lived several lives in these three years and I'm glad I decided to 'migrate' here.

And now it's time to move again and this time I'm not even going to bother imagining what it would be like two three years later although it's a lot of fun to do so.

Hopefully I'd have seen more of the world.
Hopefully I won't have too many regrets.
Hopefully I'd have learned to serve properly by then.
Hopefully I'd spend more time with camera and less with lightroom.
Hopefully my posts have some humor in them.
and a lot more "Hopefully"s

Chennai debacle a few years ago taught me that one has to accept the new place as his/her own to have any chance at having a good time. Well right now I'm just excited about moving back to Delhi even if it's for less than a month :)

Time Markers

2011-04-09T07:46:00.002+05:30

"90s were the real shit man" is what I always say and well that was one hell of an era. Listening to old songs(even 90s is old now) and watching those movies makes me feel quite nostalgic. I always wondered why do they make me feel so different not like we don't get good music now. Is it the relatively emtpy streets in the videos of that time? Well, crowded Mumbai IS getting on my nerves off late.

But that's not it. Those songs/movies are acting like time markers connecting me to my own past, a way of living which I've forgotten. Moving on is a part of life but a proper good bye is always in order. May be I need to go back one more time, to those pitches where i spent most of my childhood and once I'll take the stance may be the frenzy will return. May be I need to re-visit those alleys. May be I need to live without any "Year end targets" in my head. May be I need to give the past its due importance and the people from back then. And may be then I'll have my closure.

Polite is Rude

2011-03-22T22:55:00.001+05:30

Can one really be polite?

The very nature of the gesture makes it obvious.
You can't be polite and subtle at the same time. So is it really worth it to be polite?
Isn't it like pity? And isn't that rude?

The very idea of being polite is to act in a way which would need deliberate effort.
Does that not make it a lie? And is lying polite?

The very need for politeness is to avoid offending others.
That is assuming that they're not good enough to handle the truth.

NOW IS THAT POLITE?

I don't think one can be polite without being disrespectful.
Politeness is like being rude but disguised.

The Obvious

2011-03-22T03:42:00.000+05:30

Best books are the ones which put into words what we already know...

Is what Changi once told me and I think he was quoting someone as usual. I think I kind of agreed with the logic, at least then I did because if you think of it when we read something and really agree with what's written then it's hard to build an alternate perspective. Soon it's even hard to imagine that you ever thought differently. So in essence it feels like we knew it all along.. but did we? May be that's the beauty of a good book that it makes us convince ourselves that the whole idea is our brainchild...

Obvious Sells!

Fading Memories

2011-03-04T00:16:00.000+05:30

I regret not clicking any pictures during my school days...
Somehow I'm not there in any of the class portraits!

Hundreds and thousands of days in the district park... oh how I'd like to see a picture of us playing...
Guess somethings can only be captured in memories and not memory cards...

Dhobhi Ghaat

2011-01-26T02:47:00.000+05:30

Chaos is what it seems from outside. But each individual experiences something unique and yet so similar in ways which outsiders can never comprehend.

It made me wonder. Is life complicated or we complicate it. Are we so afraid of our instinct that we spend(read waste) all our time in calculating every move and analyzing each and everything that happens.

Are we so afraid of falling that we don't want to experience free fall ever again?
Is certainty so exciting that we want to know everything?

Someone told me "things do work out as they should". I do believe so now or at least I want to.

May be the lost capability of taking chances is what makes us miss our golden days (:

Bombay to Delhi

2010-12-25T01:03:00.000+05:30

While waiting for the boarding announcement the things that run through my head aren't about what I'm going to do once I'm there. It's not about the people I'll meet. It's not about my college days. Although these are the things I expect myself to think about.

What do I think about?

Getting up at 5 in the morning and waking everyone else up for the 6 AM cricket match. Getting back home by 11 and then playing a game of Business with my oldest friend. Then a lunch break before we get back to the field.

Those summers just don't come back. The Delhi I left is not the one I keep coming back to. Perhaps I left 'home' long before I went to Bombay.

Not that I don't enjoy visiting this 'new place' and ALWAYS consider staying back forever. I still love going to Khan and drinking up with my favorite friends and will always do :)

I hate Heroes

2010-12-22T00:42:00.001+05:30

As a kid I wanted to master every profession. My dream job was the Profession of the Week at that time. Everything was possible. One day I could be whatever I want to be. Therefore I loved all the larger than life characters despite grown ups calling them unrealistic. Now even I hate such characters(except Batman) because that day never came. Because I no longer dream to be like them. Because I've grown up.

So is this what growing up is about? Coming face to face with your own shortcomings? Being realistic?

Or is it about losing the confidence that you once had and now you're just trying to 'fit in' with the ordinary?

Make My Trip

2010-11-19T15:14:00.002+05:30

One of the downsides of living away from home is that most of your vacations are used up in traveling back n forth. And somehow friends and family always feel that you could have stayed for longer, I don't blame them. But there comes a time when you want to go for a real vacation. New place. No pending work to take care of (there's always some at home). No worries about missing somebody (It's so annoying to hear "arre tum dilli aaye aur mile bhi nahin"). So I replaced a Delhi plan with Kerala and the trip was totally worth it! More on that in some other post.

So this trip meant I couldn't go home for more than 5 months. Now even for a guy like me it's long enough to start feeling homesick. The Diwali vacations due in another month or so seemed far away so I decided to plan a short weekend trip for the time being. I booked Rajdhani tickets keeping in mind that I've to spend again for Diwali tickets. I also got a day's leave approved which along with the weekend and ganesh immersion seemed like a long enough 'short trip'.

But a day before I was scheduled to leave for Delhi something came up at work and I had to cancel my ticket and consequently the trip as I didn't want to spend 5k on flight tickets. So to drown my sorrow I went drinking. It seemed like usual beer but as my friend pointed out then it had more than the usual effect that day. I joked how could she be tipsy on two beers. So I returned around midnight and there I was on MakeMyTrip.com. I saw there was a 9 'O clock flight to Delhi. I called My roomie and asked if I should just book it. I got a diplomatic response "if it makes you happy then by all means" which was good enough for me then. So there I took out my credit card and Air India Xpress got richer by about 5 grands. I got the confirmation email but what I read got me completely out of the beer high that I was enjoying. It said

Itinerary and Reservation Details

Air India Express
IX-143

Departure
New Delhi (DEL)
Sat, 18 Sep 2010, 09:30 hrs

Arrival
Mumbai (BOM)
Sat, 18 Sep 2010, 11:45 hrs

Non-Stop Flight
Duration: 2h 15m
Non-Refundable Fare
Cabin:Economy

Passenger Name	Type	Airline PNR
Mr kanishk arya	Adult	IX08264821

In case you missed it too it says from DELHI to MUMBAI. I'm sure I read this at least a dozen times. I just couldn't believe my luck. I also noticed that the ticket was "Non-Refundable". I don't remember how many call centers I called that night but I do remember that i found out that Air India Xpress has NONE. They've nothing to do with Air-India except the fact that they use air-crafts deemed unfit by Air India after use. (And there I was already wondering if I can enter the duty free as this was an International connecting flight)

I finally recovered as much as I could and then I started doing some math. I was 3k down for no good reason but if I put in 5k more then Delhi will welcome me with both hands :)

I booked the ticket again after CAREFUL scrutiny. The flight was scheduled for departure at 6 in the morning so I decided not to sleep at all. Instead I reached the airport early and checked-in (How would they leave w/o me now? :D)

I decided I won't tell anyone about this height of stupidity (of course most of my friends knew about this before I caught the flight).

For the record I'm not reckless with money and hence I decided to not celebrate my Birthday which was due next week (Like that was gonna happen) ;)

Tipsy App

2010-11-14T01:23:00.000+05:30

This morning I got a text from a friend asking me to check Times of India Page 19

Now if this app was already in use I wouldn't have been able to post this one tonight :)

Let's us assume that such an app is actually available and that too for free. Now the question is should we really use it?

Saving oneself from the embarrassment to be faced the next day being the obvious upside. But then don't we get away with it most of the time anyway? Don't you want to receive calls from ur drunk friends and talk about it for years to come?

One thing everyone loves about drinking is that it cuts out all inhibitions so if we put this prohibition then we're canceling out the awesomeness of liqueur. It also brings about ( let me quote Vriti on this ) "the best rhetorical side of you". Now don't we want to savor it somewhere like I'm doing right now?

But if you want to get rid of all the REAL stories to save yourself the embarrassment later on then go ahead and get that software, ok braveheart ?

Control your own world

2010-11-09T23:50:00.002+05:30

As more and more ppl are becoming active on FB and the likes, these sites are giving them more and more options to customize as much as possible. They let you control your own [virtual] world. Who can visit? What privileges they get? You can even create a new identity in no time. And anything can be erased with the click of a button! And I believe this is another reason why ppl are more active in the virtual world now-a-days.

This sense of control/order makes it addictive as its absent so to speak in the real world. All this cracks me up. If you have a mouse so do everyone else. And all clicks do is hide/unhide things you like/don't like.

It's like playing an endless video game bcoz you couldn't play the real sport. Having said that, social networking is fun when played like a game. So obviously i shall be reducing my visibility on fb... See you in the real world.

Go for It

2010-10-15T14:22:00.001+05:30

I didn't know how to swim when i was born. I doubt if you did either. In-fact I used to be quite afraid of water. It embarrassed me that my friends could just float when I was holding onto the ground beneath for dear life. I always thought I'd learn one day but it took me quite some time to realize that I can't do that sitting inside my safe, comfortable, familiar room. In-fact I can't learn pretty much anything after a point until I let go the familiarity of sameness, the tranquility of repetition and the protection of my parents. To learn I have to explore unfamiliar grounds and dive into that swimming pool. Its new so it'll be scary, uncomfortable and risky. I might tap the water in anxiety, look around for help, gasp for breath and may be I'll never be able to come out but if I do, if I do survive, if I do hang in there then I WILL know how to swim. The time in that unfamiliar terrain will teach me more than any lecture could, any tutorial would. I can always quote from others' experiences but I can learn only from my own.

I have one life so I'd rather say yes than no, I'd rather move ahead than hold onto my past, I'd rather take that chance than look for excuses to maintain the status quo, I'd rather win the world than live a compromise.

How Pathetic Are We ??

2010-10-11T01:48:00.008+05:30

India Booming !
Superpower in the making !
Lucky Youth !

I've had it now. I can't bear this farce which I read in the newspapers, watch on television and hear from the ignorant masses.

We

sacrificed the best days of school for admission in a good college.
drank cheap liquor and ate shit in the hostel mess hoping one day we'll be on the other side.
were told over and over again that we're destined to be successful.

slogging our ass off on shit that a school kid can do.
pay a fortune for a decent house.

Aspiration

Reality (unless you're born 'prince')

still can't enjoy a Saturday night.
is this success?
now hear lectures on our lifestyle as if we're the spoiled ones.

The Promise

receive rejection letters that say we aren't the 'preferred' caste either.
realize that all those promises were hollow.
now see that this wasn't the right path.

We blindly followed the herd. We lived a lie. We're afraid to break free. And we feel guilty every night about the little fun we had over the weekend.

If this isn't pathetic then what is ?

Epiphany

2010-09-27T23:32:00.004+05:30

I grew up in a society which used to be quite peaceful then. The local shops and vendors would recognize me and tend to know most people by name. There used to be a fixed shop for groceries, for stationery etc. There also used to be this roadside juice vendor where we used to go have juice quite regularly.

With time a lot of new shops and malls begun to open up. A new juice shop also opened giving it some competition with more options better fruits and some sitting arrangement. Not to forget it had an electric machine which means quicker service and hence a more favorable option among the two.

Years passed and I've been living away for so long that I didn't even remember that there was ever a juice cart outside my colony. This time when I visited home I happened to pass by the same spot. That juice cart was still there. He'd grown quite old now, lesser fruits on his cart, far lesser hope on his face. He looked up and nodded to acknowledge that he knows who I am, I nodded back in despair for him.

What did I see?
Stagnation, despair, grim reality.

What did I learn?
You can either move forward with the world or get left behind to be despised later.

Change is inevitable.

Happy Birthday

2010-09-27T13:59:00.007+05:30

Birthdays are over-rated is what I used to think at one point of time. A small party at home used to suffice and the best part was/is that i could ask mom to make anything I like :)
With time things changed and then came a curse... Whatever I might do my b'day plans used to crash in vain. So much so that after a point I started dreading my b'day. It was depressing to say the least.

I came to Bombay and it was a 'failed b'day plan' in the making. That's when I put my foot down and went off the leopold and was carried out of hard rock. I had a smile on my face remarking that I've ended the curse, I've drank it down, I've smoked it up.

I still remember the b'day the last b'day I spent with dad when he took me out for dinner. I still wish I should have talked more enjoyed more but i guess it's true when grown up children sit with their parents nothing much is really talked about. I wish I could change that.

It's important to have memorable birthdays because then you remember what you did and how you felt then in which case Birthdays also act as reality checkpoints.
We can evaluate how much have we grown in the last year or two?
Are we doing what we wanted to and promised ourselves to be doing?
Are we happier?

But the most revolutionary change that one can notice is the way our relationships change with people.
Sometimes someone we didn't even know till last b'day becomes too important this time while the special someone from last time might be completely missing from the frame this time around.
It can be quite overwhelming sometimes.

Empty

2010-09-06T17:30:00.000+05:30

I envy little babies - Innocent, cute, carefree, lovable and loving.

Then comes experience and it takes away from us one thing after another.
May be that's what growing up is - Building your resume, new relationships and stories each wearing you away, making you a lesser version of yourself, emptying you out.

Innocence goes away first.
You can't afford to be carefree.
Love is a sin.

You run from all the things you hate in this world until one day you give in and become one of them and then you ask why do you hate yourselves ? Why do you feel so empty ?

You won the battle but lost the war.

Bombay

2010-09-01T00:26:00.002+05:30

I still remember my first train ride to this city. The excitement of finally going to bbay (previously i had to cancel twice) and this time it wasn't supposed to be just a trip. Initially it seemed very much like delhi because of hindi being the preferred language. But very soon I began to see the difference. This wasn't just another city. This wasn't just another seaside. This is Bombay !!

There is something about this city, something which can only be felt although I'm still hoping to explain it with this post. There's something in the air as a friend of mine put it and all of us agreed to. There are so many other nice cities in the country but there's something different about bombay. The madness the rush the freedom the sea the lights the sky scrapers the hotness the rains and "It's my life" attitude makes it the place to be.

I always feel that the city is looking after me, a protective blanket, a feeling of being home and a very happening home at that :)

My balcony view. Courtesy - Nikhil Agarwal

Whenever any of my friends visit I feel like it's my duty to take them around and make sure they love the city which they always do. Although there are some who don't appreciate the awesomeness and I find it extremely difficult to stay friends with them henceforth :P

If you're in town remember that Elephanta caves isn't really bombay but this is - MyMumbaiChecklist.

Quality

2010-08-31T03:21:00.003+05:30

Duality applies to Quality as well. Good can't exist without evil, Light has no significance without darkness - Higher(good) quality has no meaning without the lower(bad) one.

Extreme of any good quality turns it into a bad one. Like...

Cynicism helps but then it invariably leads to paranoia.
Confidence turns into cockiness.
Desire to succeed turns into an unwillingness towards acceptance of failure.
Strong leader turns into a dictator.

Lack of quality won't solve any problems either. So it's as good as a bad quality when one is incapable of doing what he should. Like...

Lack of light leads to darkness.
Lack of cynicism makes one gullible.
Inability to act makes one the obstacle.

People say pick up positives not negatives but what makes you say that they're exclusive? What makes you think that they're distinct? If good and bad were so different then how could a gray area ever exist?

With great powers come great responsibilities

I know this is cliched and seems irrelevant to us, I mean most of us aren't saving the world in any obvious kind of way. But I still feel that this phrase is quite pertinent to our lives. Our qualities determine our strength as well as weaknesses. They bring us great powers which need to be handled responsibly. We need to maintain balance because either extreme results in something that the quality was there to prevent in the first place. This might explain why happiness, triumph, success and every other thing associated with a good balance are so short lived.

System Restore

2010-08-27T23:03:00.004+05:30

I can't recall how many times I used to do a system restore on my old pc. Isn't it brilliant? You don't like it how it's behaving now then just move it back to a state you did like :)

Shanu mentioned to me how it'll be so awesome to download tutorials to learn stuff like they did in matrix and life will be so much easier and fun. It got me thinking. I say let's wish for something much more 'reasonable'. How about a 'System Restore'? Remember the last time you were totally in your 'groove' ? Won't it be awesome to just get that frame of mind restored whenever you like ? It'll be as close to utopia as it could be in my opinion.

Since any new technology is just not satisfying enough and we always want more so I'll pen down my expectations from the System Restore 2.0 right here. It should also have a software update which makes sure we don't repeat mistakes because something that really makes me pull my hair out is having to see myself in the same shit again and again.

Do you have any other 'reasonable' wish ?

The Opinion

2010-08-15T23:44:00.003+05:30

There is information and then there is disinformation, and a whole lot of it.

Every media house seems to have an agenda. The content seems to depend more upon what can sell rather than the fact of the matter.

Some want to do the right thing but have their wings chopped off by the people on the top.

Some blog about it to vent their frustration. Yeah blogging has emerged as a 'revolution in the making'. It's like an alternate media, "by the people", in the real sense of the phrase.

It has its shortcomings though. Some good thoughts are lost in the crowd while some with big names forget that something is not right just because they said it. Even the reader tends to take it for granted rather than cross-checking what he/she reads. Another shortcoming would be the fact that internet has penetrated only 5% of the Indian population. Therefore Television, Films and Print Media still make the real news and will be doing so for decades to come.

They no longer represent us though, at least not in a way we would want them to. It's the corporate houses that they cater to and "Brain-Washing" seems to be the next big agenda. Blogging is how people try to think out loud when media fails them. Next step would be individuals from different spheres of life seeking a common platform to speak their mind and answering questions which really matter to us.

One such attempt is 'The Opinion' magazine.Our purpose behind the formation of this magazine is to act as a platform for the opinions of the generation that is about to come of age. We hope to present pertinent issues from a perspective that highlights their impact on our lives. At the same time, it is equally important to us to ensure that The Opinion is a good read. So we welcome articles and stories from all genres, be it current affairs, sports, politics, economics, entertainment et al.

You can contact Pranay Gupta or me if you'd like to write or contribute in any other way you can think of and also to get your hands on our first issue.

Focus

2010-07-31T18:14:00.001+05:30

We keep cribbing how we all are so distracted and are always suggested that some 'focus' would do some wonders. So I made a list of things which always captivate our thoughts and even work can't distract us from them.

1. Watching your entire life in flashes while looking out through the window on a rainy day.
2. The woman in red at the bar.
3. An imminent change in our lifestyle.
4. Chilled beer running down our throats.
5. Thought of losing somebody.
6. Running till you can run no more.
7. Realizing you can't undo that avoidable screw up.
8. Hearing somebody describe what you feel better than you could ever have.
9. Being completely alone in a room full of people.
10. Watching someone's face light up at your sight.
11. Listening to Floyd.
12. Going back where it all started.

P.S. I wanted to write a light-hearted post :S

Please Undo

2010-07-28T03:15:00.002+05:30

We're a spoiled bunch of brats. Spoiled by computers with that conveniently located undo option. Spoiled by parents who let us do whatever we want. Spoiled by teachers who said it's Okay to err. News Flash: It's Not ! Try telling your boss that the last piece you sent to the client has errors in it and you'll know it for a fact.

You can't make errors. If you do then you should be prepared to face the consequences. As we grow up the margin becomes increasingly narrow. Still we're a generation who believes that we can get away with anything because we always did. Parents forgave. Teachers usually just gave warnings and it always worked out in the end.

In life, we're not really over the fact that our parents are no longer looking over our shoulders and if we mess up no one will even know until we're neck deep in shit. The attitude that says i know this is going to get out of control but I'm still gonna go this way and see what happens or figure it out later can only take you so far.

What they forget about is that you get to take the decision once and only once alone. The chain reaction begins. It can't be undone and there really are no second chances in life. You'll have to live with it for the rest of your life. So thinking it through at times isn't such a bad idea after all even though it might not be as exciting.

How Brain Works

2010-07-27T14:56:00.002+05:30

Good Days: Things go right. We take the right decisions or at least they seem to be right. We remember how we have done so good in life. How things always work out. How we're better than the rest. How our friends are the best anyone can have. How we've been good to people. How we're proud of ourselves. How others are proud of us. How important we are. How we shouldn't ever change.

Bad Days: We screw up. Domino effect leads to screw ups. Old screw ups re-surface. Old wonders start looking like potential screw-ups. We remember how we always screw up. How it always ends badly. How there's no one to prevent us from falling. How we're a disappointment to us and others. How useless we are. How we can't ever change.

Normal Days: We're just our usual ignorant self.

Occam's Razor

2010-07-26T03:43:00.002+05:30

Either you can be logical about everything or nothing. You can't have it both ways. You can't resort to logic when it suits you especially when it's your dire attempt to justify yourselves. Just because you can justify yourselves doesn't make you or your actions right.

I'm sure this goes against everything you've been taught, but right and wrong do exist. Just because you don't know what the right answer is - maybe there's even no way you could know what the right answer is - doesn't make your answer right or even okay. It's much simpler than that. It's just plain wrong.- Dr. Gregory House

Yes right and wrong do exist. Just because people can get away by calling it a gray area doesn't make it right. Weakness is not an excuse for choosing the wrong path rather it's a weak act to use weakness as an excuse. Experiences tend to repeat themselves. Ever thought why so ? It's maybe because of YOU. You haven't changed, your actions haven't, your thinking hasn't and therefore the consequences haven't either and you're still wasting all your time coming up with excuses, with justification when the simplest justification is staring you in the face.

Occam's Razor - Simplest explanation is always right.

Well almost always. So why think of complicated stories then ?

Self Preservation

2010-07-25T02:32:00.001+05:30

Self Preservation defines evolution.
The ability to defy it defines acing the evolutionary race.
We've the ability to choose.
To choose between life and death.
To choose between pleasure and misery, at times, but these choices are driven by motives much more complex than mere survival.
Emotions defy logic and define us.
We've the ability and the drive to choose misery, the lack of which we find quite troubling.
We've the ability to self destruct.
To shoot ourselves in the foot.
To 'change' everything.
The question is to what end ?
Is it just compulsion to check our own breaking point ?
Is there a point to be proven, to others if not ourselves ?
Is there a war to be won ?
Is there a trophy to be lifted ?
Or maybe it's just to keep us 'occupied' like Leonard did.
May be we'll never know.

Quite Real

2010-07-19T12:04:00.004+05:30

I like to dream. Imagining a dream world while one is conscious is quite difficult if not impossible. Attention to detail is not the only problem one faces but to control the various objects in the ‘scene’ is like acquiring 'Moksha'. Everything that you don’t want to happen happens because you’re ‘actually’ thinking about them. In short, it invariably leads to chaos in matter of seconds. Dreaming while sleeping is definitely less strenuous although it can be one hell of a roller-coaster ride if not utter chaos.

I find it extremely interesting how we react to difficult situation in real life. How an adrenaline rush pulls us out of despair. We go on the offensive instead and tell ourselves that this is our life and we’re ready to do whatever is necessary to bring it back on path. On the other hand, a difficult situation in a dream is also invariably related to feeling completely helpless. I’ve had a lot of lucid dreams especially as a kid. The adrenaline rush when nothing is going your way tells you that it’s a dream. This is right when we wake up but well not always, at least not me.

The knowledge that you’re dreaming when you’re still asleep puts you in-charge of the dream and unlike the 'day dreams', now you have your whole brain at your disposal. "It's my dream, out here I'm God" is what I used to tell myself. Although it doesn’t last too long, maybe because we can’t really accept that we’re ‘All Powerful’ or maybe we don’t really know what to do with all this power. Does it also mean that although we keep striving for more power in real life we're not really equipped or prepared to handle it if someday we actually acquire enough?

Gaining control over your dream doesn't mean that it's going to last. It's like playing a shooting game which becomes harder and faster as you move forward but only a lot more complex. You try to keep up with the rapidly increasing pace of the dream till you can, knowing very well that sooner or later you'll have to snap out of it. Just like real life just a lot more faster is what I remember of those 'hard to remember' dreams.

No More a Virgin

2010-06-25T14:58:00.003+05:30

I still remember when the peer pressure got the better of me. The sheer fun and pleasure made me go over to the other side. It was first year of college and despite of everything I'd been taught, I was able rationalize it nonetheless. Since then I've always tried to help others realize what they're missing out on.

People have their reasons too - Religious, ethical or mere choices they make to prove to themselves that they're in control. I've realized it's not appreciated when the 'beliefs' are questioned and hence I avoid it. Although the pleasure in seeing people appreciate the other side when they decide to move over is worth the effort being put in to 'change' them.

One such conversion took place today. When subway delivered subs which were marked incorrectly. A dear colleague of mine who boasts or rather used to boast of being a 'pure vegetarian' had nibbled a couple of bites before he could realize that what he's eating doesn't taste like the Veggie Delite he ordered but had gotten swapped with the Chicken Tikka. He immediately gulped down the whole bottle of Mango Slice to cleanse himself but it was too late. He knew it was too late. The chicken was inside him. He couldn't boast anymore and everyone knows the first time might take time but once you're on the other side There's no stopping you :)

'Functions'

2010-06-06T14:08:00.002+05:30

I hated them in school n college and like them no better in office.

Not the mathematical ones. I'm way too good at ripping apart those little mean pricks ;)

I always found school functions to be torturous. I don't know why. I mean everybody seemed very happy during that time. Maybe because I was never into dancing, singing, dramatics.. You name it and I haven't done it :) So it could be that I didn't feel like I'm a part of it, like I'm the 'outsider', it explains why i always felt suffocated during all such events and wished for them to get over asap so that i could return to the usual fun.

College fests seemed no better. It always seemed that people changed for that time like We're in a alternate universe and the relationships had a different meanings. It's like everybody arrives not only dressed up on the outside but also trying to play a character whom I just couldn't recognize. My friends never liked attending fests and sometimes when they did, I had a great time so maybe that explains it all. Though I still prefer a House Party on New Year's eve Over going to a club and shouting with 2000 strangers. Not that I don't like going out and attend concerts with thousands of people but somethings are better if only friends are around.

Office has been no respite either with what was supposed to be an annual party got converted into a school function with Juices and Soft drinks replacing the 'happy' drinks and people still pretending to enjoy or have they uncovered the truth about life, happiness and everything that goes with it ?

Venting out @WTF and then the usual @ Hard Rock and Marine Drive (That is my spot, in an every changing world, it is a single point of consistency.) prevented me from throwing up.

Life Cycle

2010-06-05T02:06:00.001+05:30

I have a rule. I do not write about my personal life. I just don't ! And that's why I'm going to hate myself in the morning for posting this but right now I'm too buzzed to stop myself, also I won't be able to sleep peacefully unless i get this out of my system.

I'm listening to The Scientist by coldplay - Going back to the start again. That's what I feel like right now. Back to the start. I also listened to Nirvana, Floyd and even Aerosmith and each song reminds me of some particular times during my college life. I can remember what I was thinking then, what I was feeling then and I can feel it again.

I was in my hometown then (Delhi). Now I'm in the city of my dreams (Bombay). Earning my livelihood. Supposedly free to do what-so-ever I want to do. So much has changed. But still everything is the 'same' in some intangible sense of the word. Everything was supposed to be sorted out by now but of course I'm more messed up than I ever was.

Life has completed a full circle, again. This reminds me of a line from the song 'Mad World' - 'Going Nowhere Going Nowhere'. And I ask myself, What the hell is going on ? What am I doing ? What am i supposed to do ?

I wish there's a window out of this circle of life.
I wish I could see it.
I wish someone can show me.
I wish I have the courage to let go and take that highway.
I wish...

Romance in Office

2010-06-03T14:35:00.003+05:30

I miss being in college... people didn't pretend to like you. You didn't have to listen to them blabbering about their sad lives. The guy from college who wouldn't dare opening his mouth knowing very well the consequences can now act all cool under the blanket protection office brings him.

The Dull Office with masks all around. Everybody playing the nice guy. "We're one big family" is the slogan being preached. Add chemical X(femme fatale) into the whole equation...

And suddenly the place is not that boring anymore. The masks have been taken off. The real people are back. The order is disturbed. Suddenly it's the most 'competitive' and 'happening' place in town. People are mean again. They are ready to fight again. They are living again.

Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!- Joker

People are in at time again. Initiative are taken like initiatives again. College life can be tasted again. 'Love' is in the air again or may be its just the monsoons...

People are talking again, actually talking. The buzz is back. Adrenalin rush can be felt again. Phones are ringing again. Messages are being sent again. There are 'common' goals again. Getting embarrassed again.

We are 'We' again

Some Recommendations:
The Reason
What not to do on valentine's day

The Evil Grin

2010-05-29T19:38:00.002+05:30

It makes your heart sink.
Can feel his presence whenever you laugh too much.
Just have to look behind and there it is 'the evil grin'.
The one that's there to make you doubt yourself.
Doubt Others.
Doubt Everything.
You tell yourself its all in the head and you won't be affected.
But you already are.
You can see the domino effect and you just wait n watch.
Tell yourself that next time you'll be stronger and won't let your dreams fall like a pack of cards.
Makes you feel better for a while, sometimes.
But you'd rarely forget that he's always behind you, watching every move, with that evil grin.
Guess that's what god looks like.

Let Go

2010-05-25T23:18:00.001+05:30

Remember battling it out in the swimming pool to stay afloat ? Well I do. How the basic instinct told me to come out of the water and put my feet on the ground, To not trust the well proven Archimedes principle.

How something you badly want like a college or a prize and failure takes away all your confidence and you had already lost your life preparing for the same.

How that special someone turned your life upside down 'in a bad way' but still the apparent 'problem' is hardly ever acknowledged.

Someplace you want to get away from, someplace you want to be and putting everything into it for the same. Well its no different then struggling to stay afloat without even letting go.

What does feel good is to let go, when suddenly you're no longer drowning. It does feel good when there's no longer any pressure from within to have an ultimate goal. Suddenly so many possibilities start to appear out of nowhere and some are even good ;)

Even letting go a person brings a lot of 'possibilities' into the picture.

May be being open to things here than imagining better things on the other side all the time is not such a bad idea. May be all the problems are not as real as we make ourselves believe they are. We just need our 'pleasant' surprises to keep us happy and surprises need us to be open to receiving them :)

I Wonder

2010-05-25T00:40:00.003+05:30

Something made me wonder. Why is it that people are almost always disappointed. If you fail then you're supposed to be disappointed and if you succeed then its just one step forward which was 'expected', hard earned, not a surprise.
New people excite us whereas old jokes become annoying (this is until we realize 'old is gold' :P ).
I wonder is it because whenever we're looking for happiness from a particular direction, we inadvertently close all the doors leading it to us? Or an alternate view which kind of questions the meaning of happiness. Is 'surprise factor' the real catch ? Do we need that surprise, that 'pleasant' shock to feel happy ? That might explain why we like to do something outrageous every once in a while ? Or is it just me ?

May be we just want to see if we can still surprise ourselves. May be that's all happiness is. It's HOPE that there's more to world and life then what we have witnessed so far and its nicer and worth living for.

The Original Bicycle Diaries

2010-05-24T01:41:00.008+05:30

Long time ago I ventured into the unknown. The land far far away. Despite all the warnings, the arguments and after a lot of thinking I finally decided to go and face the world down under... Well lets cut the crap. I went to Chennai for my summer internship at IIT Madras during my college days. The campus was huge and hence I got myself a bicycle(read bike). Well I did know 'one' soul in the city, a friend from college who was interning close by at IIMSC which was about 2 Kms away from the IIT hostel gate. So here is what happened...

One fine day he was nice enough to call me to go out with him and his friends. He knew I was pretty much alone so won't even give it a second thought. The movie was 'ok' but the people's reaction to Rajinikanth's 'Shivaji' was a lot of fun. Beach after that was nice too and then we got back to his dorm. Now it was past 1 AM and I couldn't see anyone on the streets well that's how it is over there. I expressed some concern about getting back in one piece and his friends offered me to stay back in the dorm but he 'suggested' I should head to IIT. His last words were "Don't worry man."

The anger and annoyance made me 'kick-start' my bike and there I left for a life altering experience. I decided to take the 2 Km shortcut which was like the narrows as there was no way that I'd ride for 8 Kms to reach my room. As soon as I entered the haunted road a couple of dogs started barking at me. I told myself that the protocol dictates that I should stay calm, So I did but I thought the smarter thing would be to act calm but paddle faster. They kept chasing me nonetheless. Then there was another left cut. As soon as I turned I realized they've got some reinforcements. Five or six dogs after my life on a dark narrow road. Now there was no time for games. I was riding a fast as I could and asking myself why the hell did I buy a second hand one as paying 5 times more for a new one is definitely worth it if it saves my life right? Then I started cursing Menaka Gandhi, Changi(The Friend) and swore to take their lives if I could save mine.

Then, right then it struck me, I watched this program on discovery channel where this scientist goes to a jungle with the objective of scaring away a tiger. He stretched his arms and roared and It Worked. The idea is if you can prove to the animal that you're stronger than him then they'll leave. So I tried to do the same but the roar somehow came out like a scream(i guess) and the dogs became wilder. Now I thought there's no way I'm reaching IIT but somehow managed to gather enough courage to 'roar' again and guess what they came to an immediate halt. I hailed in triumph telling myself "who's the man!". I finally looked forward as the dogs had stopped chasing me and I realized I'm on the extreme right of the narrow road and there was an SUV right in front of me. Well it was parked but I was traveling at the speed of light. It was too late to apply brakes. The only thought that came to my mind was

Man I can't believe my luck.

I crashed with half of me on the bonnet.

I got back on my feet I was feeling no pain so I assumed I'm not that badly hurt. The dogs seemed confused too, now staring from some distance. I tried to pick up my bike and start moving again but something was not right. The front bar connecting the front wheel to the body of the bike had turned 90 degrees. So there I was stuck in the middle of nowhere. I decided to do something before the dogs run out of patience so I jumped into the house i had crashed in front of. I tried calling Changi but he didn't answer to save the incoming charges while roaming. Now I started remembering how I noticed that every house on this road seemed to have a pet. Finally I heard a voice, an auto driver who lived next door and was woken up due the noise, took me back to IIT with my bike and refused to take money. True Story.

P.S. For a funnier version of the same story please checkout http://dynamicquality.blogspot.com/2007/06/bicycle-diaries-part-i.html

My Mumbai Checklist

2010-05-22T15:46:00.010+05:30

Unlike Abhirup and Vibhor's list, Mine is not centered around south bbay. Well of course not, I've always lived in the suburbs right :P And now so do you guys :D

1. Hard Rock Café, Lower Parel [Starting with home but in no particular order after this]
2. Coffee Shop at Taj President
3. Mondegar, Colaba
4. Leopold, Colaba
5. Koyla, Colaba
6. Cafe Basilico, Colaba
7. Theobroma, Colaba
8. Bade Miyan, Colaba
9. Tavern, Fariyaz, Colaba
10. Pizzeria, Marine Drive
11. Not Just Jazz by the Bay, Marine Drive
12. Mocha, Marine Drive
13. Hotel Marine Plaza, Marine Drive
14. Valhalla, Churchgate
15. Khyber, Fort
16. Crepe Station, Oshiwara
17. Ayub’s, Fort
18. Soul Fry Casa, Fort
19. Peshawar, Fort
20. 5 spices, Fort
21. Bachelor’s, Chowpatty
22. Café Noorani, Tardeo
23. Kyani & Co
24. Copper Chimney, Phoenix
25. Spaghetti Kitchen, Hiranandani
26. Zenzi, Bandra
27. Mocha Mojo, Bandra
28. Open Affair, Bandra
29. Papa Pancho, Bandra
30. Elbo Room, Bandra
31. Karim’s , Hiranandani
32. Masalacraft Kitchen and Bar, Bandra
33. Salt water café, Bandra
34. Chilis, Hiranandani
35. Toto’s Garage, Bandra
36. Mainland China, Hiranandani
37. Sheesha Sky Lounge, Andheri
38. Firangi Paani, Andheri
39. Aura, Hiranandani
40. Mocha, Hiranandani
41. Hangla, Hiranandani
42. Aromas, Hiranandani
43. Yoko Sizzlers, Hiranandani
44. Sammy Sosa, Oshiwara
45. Sankalp, Hiranandani
46. Mantra, hiranandani,
47. Pop Tate’s, Powai
48. Happy Singh, Sakinaka
49. Bond, Mulund
50. Rajdhani, Mulund
51. Timbaktoo, Mulund
52. Pop Tate's, Ghatkopar
53. Parathas, Hiranandani
54. Red Box Cafe, Andheri
55. Punjab Restaurant, Bhandup
56. Bistro Grill, Mulund
57. Bistro grill, Hiranandani
58. Ghostana, hiranandani
59. Calcutta Club, Oshiwara
60. Gajalee, Seepz
61. Sanjraj, Bhandup
62. Ghostana, Bandra
63. Bar-Be-Que Nation, Bandra
64. BTC, Vashi
65. Garcia’s Pizza, Andheri
66. Enigma, Juhu
67. Poison, Bandra
68. Irani Café, Matunga
69. Status Veg Restaurant, Nariman Point
70. Only Parathas, Mulund
71. China House
72. Rude Lounge, Powai
73. Mini Punjab, Powai
74. Sports bar, Phoenix
75. La Brasserie, La Meridien
76. Uno Bar & Grills, Ramada, Powai
77. Herb n Spice, Ramada, Powai
78. Dhua, Andheri
79. A few Baristas, Pizza Huts, Shiv Sagars, Subways’ CCDs, Gloria Jeans, MODs, Dominos , McD’s and south Indian restaurants.
80. Firangi Pani, Bandra
81. Saffron Spice, Hiranandani
82. Clove Bar, Hiranandani
83. Great Punjab, Hiranandani
84. Kasbah, Hiranandani
85. Pop Tate's, Vikhroli
86. WTF, Khar (W)
87. Oven Fresh, Dadar
88. Renaissance, Powai
89. ITC Maratha, Andheri
90. Bling, Leela Hotel
91. Ling's Pavilion
92. Mocha, Juhu
93. Alfredo's Vile Parle (W)
94. Mumbai Times Café, Bandra
95. Hawaiian Shack, Bandra
96. Caravan Serai, Bandra
97. Rain Forest, R-City
98. Nando's, Goregaon
99. Theobroma, Bandra
100. Aer, Four Seasons Hotel, Worli
101. Cafe Basillico, Bandra
102. Gostana, pali hill, bandra,
103. Velvet, Renessaince, Powai
104. Coffee Shop, Renessaince
105. Shiro, Lower Parel
106. Just Round the Corner, Bandra
107. Mainland China, haji Ali
108. Moshe's, Colaba

Wish List:
1. Blue Frog
2. Indigo
3. Busaba
4. Zaffran, Fort

School Days

2010-05-17T03:46:00.004+05:30

At some sub-conscious level I feel that I'm just waiting for this rather adventurous summer vacations to get over before I go back to school again. Play cricket again. Get to say 'no' to work again. Not be accountable again.

I still remember the early days when I always used to look at the main gate during the lunch break just counting minutes before I'd be 'free'. Then school started becoming more and more enjoyable, not that I stopped faking illness to steal a leave. Summer Holidays were still eagerly awaited and the last week of the holidays was usually accompanied by a severe chest pain owing to the tremendous back log due to untouched holiday homework. But somehow it always worked out.

Then came the senior years and school became more important than home. There was no way we could miss out on anything what-so-ever. The career counseling began and it was time to 'make our dreams come true'. Well I don't know how that is turning out for most of us but the journey is always more important and the companions make it memorable. The battle continues and there's still hope to return to 'school' of some sorts.

The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die.
- Edward Kennedy

People I don't get at all:

2010-05-10T21:58:00.007+05:30

1. Who don't like Chocolate.
2. Who question the awesomeness of Beer.
3. Who don't worship Sachin Tendulkar.
4. Who haven't watched Dark Knight Yet.
5. Who Diet.
6. Who mix upper and lower case letters in a word tHInKinG its cool.
7. Who dance in Hard Rock Cafe.
8. Who talk slowly (kills me from inside).
9. Who don't munch at night.
10. Who follow a strict schedule.
11. Who come for dinner but aren't hungry because they had a glass of MILK before they left from home.
12. Who don't love HOUSE and SHELDON.
13. Who aren't in LOVE with Bombay.

Well this can go on for a while...

Purpose

2010-05-05T04:06:00.008+05:30

"We are not here because we're free, we're here because we are not free. There is no escaping reason, no denying purpose, because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist." - Agent Smith

I* can't remember the last time I was really captivated by 'something^' or 'someone#' (Actually I kinda do remember but don't really want to bring it up here). I think I'm missing the feeling of thinking nothing 'else'. To have your mind fixated at a particular 'thing' or a particular 'one'. When everything else didn't bother me so much. When I didn't question myself so much. When happiness wasn't so costly (and didn't even require taking a cab to Worli). I'm digressing again.

When there was still hope for a 'perfect' something/someone/life. When the 'examination' papers were designed to be cracked. When cynicism hadn't crossed all boundaries. When time wasn't running out (at least from the looks of it). When getting up in the morning(/afternoon) was easier, there was a reason to smile while preparing for the day ahead, there was Purpose.

* I'm writing in first person as I'm not sure how lost others really are as they kinda do seem to have some sort of a plan.
^ Any goal, gadget, plan, accomplishment etc.
# Too obvious man!

Reflection

2010-04-23T14:14:00.003+05:30

What happens when you can no longer justify your past ?
When you can no longer identify with yourself ?
You never were what you thought you were and you still aren't and hence you never will be ?
When all the excuses start to seem not good enough ?
When your own reflection starts to aggravate you ?
When you completely lose touch with reality or may be its the first time that reality has hit you, well you'll never know ?
How do you know that all these years weren't a waste, that still all is not lost ?
How could you possibly do things differently this time ?

The path is becoming steeper and where's the hope of reaching the top when you could not reach the other end of the lush green field in your backyard...

Bombayites

2010-04-07T03:43:00.006+05:30

City of Dreams attracts a variety of people. I think once you've lived here for some time you can start understanding the demography. You can tell one kind* from the other. Here's an attempt to identify the different kinds..

1. Local experts (Of the trains I mean): They'll know everything there is to know about the locals and not only about the stations within Bombay but Virar, Titwala and some more names I get to read on the trains. They can be quite helpful especially for a newbie but don't expect them to know much outside of their expertise(i.e. the locals).

2. L.B.S. dudes: Their bombay starts from Mulund and ends at Ghatkopar. Nirmal lifestyle and R-City Ghatkopar form an important part of their lives...

3. Gujjus: The North western bombayites. The rich business class. Met a few, they turned out to be a lot sweeter than my expectation.

4. Bandraites: The so-called happening crowd. The place is quite an attraction and so are the people, from the girl next door to Sachin Tendulkar. Though they're not known for venturing out of Bandra much.

5. Town side folks: Town-side or the So-called Real Bombay, and I think rightly so, is full of Big Shots and their offices. The best part is the restaurants, pubs, Marine Drive and what not. I found the people there to be much nicer than they get credit for. And of course their Bombay finishes at Dadar in the north.

6. Self-Proclaimed Bombayites: The Thaneites, Navi mumbaians, Virarians and all the people living close to Bombay but not in Bombay. Before this turns into a controversy let me clarify that I'm not questioning your 'Right' over bombay but just some light-hearted humour.

7. Inquisitive Immigrants**: They know it all and they love the city. They're everywhere and Bombay is full of them. Their love for the town amazes and annoys their hometown folks. They infuse life in the city and are the future 'Localites'.

* The insecure ones with a propaganda who can't share the city won't find a mention.
** The disloyal, thankless ones who can't stop complaining about everything won't find a mention over here either.

Its like a T20

2010-04-06T10:49:00.004+05:30

If you think about it Life's like a game of cricket. When you're out of luck and the opposition is on Top, you got to just hang in there. In the process you might have to swallow your pride and get knocked down by a bouncer or two but you cannot and shall not give in.

Then, Slowly and gradually you come out of the corner due to sheer grit and well at that time that's all you've got. Then you start changing gears and the roar of the crowd grows with you and they start to go bonkers... why ? Because you're on FIRE. You're doing which at one point was out of question. You've defied destiny and what people do when they see a mere mortal defying what at one point seemed like god's will, Just go watch a match.

'Hope Springs Eternal'

2010-04-02T01:25:00.002+05:30

Yes I am High ! But its not chemically induced rather its the wonder of 'hope'. Hope which has ended for me a phase of doubts, about anything and everything, about me and you, about this world and the next. Where did this hope come from ? What inspired me is the mesmerizing act of an individual defying all odds, telling us yes you can.

As the Architect from Matrix said "Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness". Though I wonder what we'll we do without it ? Even the thought seems frightening.

Enough of beating behind the bush... I am here to talk about Saurav Ganguly AKA Dada.

Refused to be a silent spectator in 1991, kicked out. Came back 5 years later with back to back centuries at the mecca of cricket. Establishing himself as the one-day opener. Then came the day when he was crowned with captain's hat. And what did he do ? Well he turned the meaning of leadership on its head. He made what Indian cricket team is today. He's the architect, he's the devil the world couldn't stand and the more he defied them the more support he got and the more powerful he became and the more angry they got.

Then came the downfall like it does for all great kings. The luck ran out, friends turned foe and even the precious 'timing' gave up on him. He had to leave again, many arrogant souls believed that its forever. But he had different plans, He came back and weathered the storm in Africa, where no one else had a clue he showed them light. He once again demonstrated sheer strength of determination which has inspired millions. Finally the legend retired from international cricket with his head high after an invaluable contribution to his country.

Came IPL, again so many controversies, its like they won't ever leave him alone. Bad form was seen as a sin. Everyone waiting for that one tiny mistake and questioning over a decade long of greatness whenever they got a tiny window of opportunity.

Then it was the time for the return of the king. He took all responsibility, he lead from the front. His elegant shots were all back and he demonstrated why he's called the prince of Bengal, the Bengal Tiger and why is he one of the most successful Indian openers ever. He patted his chest signaling his team that he's going to see them through today and he did just that. If there's someone who never gives up then it has to be the greatest Indian Captain of all times AKA Dada.

The Status Quo

2010-03-22T18:36:00.001+05:30

There is so much anguish that needs to be vented out and I've been told blogging is a good way to do so. So here I am on your recommendation.

But I don't really know how this works. How do I prove that the world is full of mad people and then feel better since I wrote about it ? What's really the point of it ? Do I want to find more people who share my feelings and tell me how right I am ? So are we just looking for each others' approval over here ?

Whereas what we should be doing is 'seeking joy' 'unleashing our instincts' and 'taking chances' instead of seeking refuge behind the so called 'moral high-ground'. May be the fault lies here with us and may be the actions of the 'ordinary' (so proclaimed by 'us') are the ones that need to be looked up to, may be a failure a reject is better than the status quo. It's time to move on...

Dog Chasing Cars

2010-03-09T13:53:00.000+05:30

"I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it." - Joker.

We run after everything that evades us well almost. Be it the desire for some gadget we can't afford, the madness associated with getting a high paid job which is never good enough or the more common phenomenon known as a 'crush'.

Even if we know that we don't like the 'car' much, that it's not the right model, shape or doesn't have smart enough gadgetry inside... It doesn't matter. We have to run for the simple reason that it seems to be running away from our reach when we expect it to approach us... and if the latter actually happens we'd be running away instead.

So what are we running for ? 'the car' ? I am not so sure. Well the High of chasing can give cigarettes a run for their money. Suddenly we have a purpose a short one a challenging one, unpredictable and with whole lot of ups and downs, making us forget about the absurdity of our day-to-day lives. Morning alarm is no longer as annoying instead its time to 'resume work'. Its a 'New Day'...

dPain over dt

2010-03-05T11:49:00.000+05:30

Courtesy: XKCD

Human Experiment

2008-03-19T16:51:00.000+05:30

I remember watching this tv series LOST about some people stuck on an island. There was this experiment going on there too in which some people were sent there with all the necessities for life and all they had to do was press a button every 90 minutes without fail. They were told they were saving the world. Some other people believed that it was just an experiment to see how people will react to it.

But if you think about it our life is no different. Society tries to make us feel that our life has a purpose and not only that it gives us a code of conduct as well and I must add that we are taught to believe that what we like is not good.. So the end product is the same situation as those guys you don't know whether you are right or not because you want society to be right because that makes you a part of a bigger and supposedly meaningful thing and supports you as well but deep down you know its an experiment and your nothing more than an object...

Couldn't an excuse for Didn't

2007-09-29T20:41:00.001+05:30

Couldn't is one of the most over used words according to me. I wondered about its various usages and figured its nothing but an excuse for didn't. If you think about it every usage of couldn't can be replaced by didn't and be justified because couldn't comes into usage not because of infeasibility but lack of will.
Like raising your hands assuming yourself to be superman and then saying I cant fly is as good as saying you don't want to unlike wright brothers who did.
And even if we don't look at it objectively its about the kind of gesture one makes which gives an idea about the intent one might not be in a position to do a lot of things but can still do a lot of other stuff to send the right message.

An Inquiry into Morals

2007-09-29T20:03:00.001+05:30

I have always given ethics there due importance but I am starting to wonder does nature really care about ethics?? After all its about the survival of the fittest. Being rigid in order to be ethical is something we cant afford to do in this world. If we have a choice between victimizing ourselves or others the choice becomes obvious unless one can derive happiness otherwise and is capable of forgiving himself when others do not put you on the receiving end of such a favour either, after all if you couldn't take your own side why expect others??? And doing this isn't selfless either after all your happy right... It finally comes down to what you like.

Even if your intent is to deceive I say how the hell does it matter because all that counts is what you do on ground...Right???

Terrorism

2007-09-07T19:37:00.001+05:30

The first and may be the only thing that comes to our mind with this topic is some religious lunatics from across the border. I define terrorism as anyone using violence to get their demands (especially unreasonable ones) fulfilled.

Today I was going to college as usual via bus no. 879 but just 2 kms before DCE the bus was stopped by some 20-25 guys who looked like bawana crowd, not for a second I thought that the reason could be anything except taking a ride in the bus until I saw the front glass being smashed with a big stone... Well I have heard about maniacs thrashing buses to avoid taking a 3 rupee ticket but this is the first time I experienced it.

Well quiet obviously people rushed towards the gate and I wasn't at all scared because I was so sure that there is no way they can stone the bus with people inside. The conductor was pulled outside and was beaten up and I was just waiting for them to ask everybody to empty the bus but to my horror they blocked the exit and a stone/brick came thrashing a window right in front of me , a lady was sitting there with less than an year old baby she crouched to save her baby and most people did the same but before I could react I felt a jolt in my ribs as I couldn't sight the stone after the window broke but fortunately for me it had lost momentum... And in the next few seconds there were stones from all around the bus and I was wondering WHY???

Then I heard somebody shouting for the driver to take the bus away from there we got down around 20 yards from the scene and I immediately called the cops even though i was confident that nothing will be done and then directed a couple of more 879s coming from the opposite direction to take an alternative root which they did.

I don't know if the police came or not but when I was coming back after an hour I saw the same bus(without windows now) driver and the conductor seemed reasonably okay so may be the police did come. Later on I found out from a bus conductor that those guys belong to some college near by which I never knew if existed and surprisingly call themselves students.

At the end of the day I can's decide who's fault is it and what if somebody would have got hurt who would be responsible those a**holes, the authorities who don't seem to be taking sufficient action or the society who's tolerance feed such criminals/terrorists who are ready put people's life in danger and destroying property so that they can get a free ride which they believe they deserve being a so-called students.