I have a rule. I do not write about my personal life. I just don't ! And that's why I'm going to hate myself in the morning for posting this but right now I'm too buzzed to stop myself, also I won't be able to sleep peacefully unless i get this out of my system.
I'm listening to The Scientist by coldplay - Going back to the start again. That's what I feel like right now. Back to the start. I also listened to Nirvana, Floyd and even Aerosmith and each song reminds me of some particular times during my college life. I can remember what I was thinking then, what I was feeling then and I can feel it again.
I was in my hometown then (Delhi). Now I'm in the city of my dreams (Bombay). Earning my livelihood. Supposedly free to do what-so-ever I want to do. So much has changed. But still everything is the 'same' in some intangible sense of the word. Everything was supposed to be sorted out by now but of course I'm more messed up than I ever was.
Life has completed a full circle, again. This reminds me of a line from the song 'Mad World' - 'Going Nowhere Going Nowhere'. And I ask myself, What the hell is going on ? What am I doing ? What am i supposed to do ?
I wish there's a window out of this circle of life.
I wish I could see it.
I wish someone can show me.
I wish I have the courage to let go and take that highway.