Conversation killer

LOL

I hate it when I get a "lol" in reply... I mean if you feel like laughing then go Haha at least it sounds like a laugh! When I get a lone lol I choose to end the conversation more often than not (it also depends on who sent it and my inclination to put myself through some more lol horror)

Why people choose to use this Conversation killer?

1. To KILL the conversation. Of course if you actually wanna kill the conversation then you can go ahead and LOL. It would work even better than HMMM...

2. You actually say "LOL" out loud instead of laughing in the 'real' world. ( Saw such a creature in some movie/series )

3. You actually believe that it's Cooler to LOL then to laugh.

4. You genuinely have nothing to say and LOL is your way of dealing with awkwardness.

5. You've not heard about the 'cooler' version of LOL which is LAUL.

What is YOUR reason?

MadMen

Acting crazy or depressed!

Eat a lot or nothing at all!

Talk a lot or completely hush!

Extremely stupid or annoyingly cautious!

Super confident or shaking really!

Too Active or completely dormant!

Too friendly or extremely distant!

Too judgmental or too humble!

Sloshed or SOBER!

Salad or Butter Chicken!

Hence - Mad! In a world which preaches Moderation!

How do I know all this?
Well...

Vacations

Who doesn't like vacations?
Who wouldn't? :S

Do we all look forward to go on one?
Yes!

Is there a threshold period for them to last?
Don't think so (truth is YES!)

After the threshold period which is about 18 days and 14 hours in my opinion...

Do you start  talking to people you generally never have time for?
Yes!

You do stupid things just because you're bored?
Yes!

You end up feeling very irritated?
Yes!

You start feeling that all your friends are corporate rats?
Yes!

You have a little too much time to think about your life!
Yes!

Does the last part suck?
Oh Yes!

Do you take rapid measures to fix things which will prevent you from reflecting too much on your life?
Definitely!

Especially after a few drinks?
Of course!

Does that push you further in the mess?
Well, Of course!

Now do you wish for the vacations to get over?
So do!

Does this mean that you're missing work?
Are you kidding me? :P

Learning to drive

This is a topic I mostly avoid because it's immensely embarrassing but since off late I've good stuff going on so i don't really care about not having a driving license.

Well I think I drove for the first time when I was in 5th standard. Yes our driver used to let me do that when my folks weren't around. And as all driving instructors tell their students he also told me that I'm naturally good at it. That time I couldn't wait to turn 18 and get a license to freedom. But as destiny had it I no longer had a car. So i decided to wait.

Once in murthal we went to pick up Rahul's degree. As he stepped to go to a lone departmental store in his barren campus Ritesh gave into my request of letting me go for a small drive. I started and I very well knew that Rahul would come running for his 'baby' so I decided to really hit the gas as there was no way i could afford it to come to a halt straight away. As expected Rahul had his jaw dropped and he never ran like that on the cricket field either. Ritesh had his heart racing very well knowing he might end up being the scapegoat here. As I looked back to make these observations the car headed towards a tree inside a narrow ditch. I 'seemed' to be completely out of control and I heard *beep* *beep* *beep* from behind which wasn't helping my driving I must add. I of course steered back onto the road very comfortably. They did let me drive till the gate then but still for some inexplicable reason Rahul starts breathing heavily when we talk about that incident.

Three years later my driving experience in Goa however was much better and I must add Karan is one patient instructor. Also, he couldn't believe that it was the first time I was driving may be our family driver was telling the truth after all.

After so many years I'd lost interest in driving but I think it's time that I hit the road so today I join a driving school not because I need to learn but because it's okay to damage their cars :)

Best Profession Ever

To crack jokes at people and then get paid by the very same people. Can there be a better job?

STAND UP COMEDY IS THE SHIT

Recently I had the 'pleasure' of going to the Comedy Store. And It was money well spent.

You can order food and drinks inside the audi but avoid drinking too much too quickly because your attempted escape to relieve yourself won't go unnoticed. Ringing phone on the other hand would guarantee you the experience of the Comedy Store's version of "Phone a Friend" where the friend would have no idea what he's up against.

The host and the best comedian of the lot was the most unprepared and was the most chatty one as well. I happen to know some people who I believe have the "skill-set" for this coveted job.

1. Karan Kalia - If he gives up the motto "Why STAND if you can sit" after all it's stand up comedy.
2. Aditya Changavalli - If he can start seeing a Trichologist after all who'd want to watch a disgruntled bald comedian.

Make My Trip

One of the downsides of living away from home is that most of your vacations are used up in traveling back n forth. And somehow friends and family always feel that you could have stayed for longer, I don't blame them. But there comes a time when you want to go for a real vacation. New place. No pending work to take care of (there's always some at home). No worries about missing somebody (It's so annoying to hear "arre tum dilli aaye aur mile bhi nahin"). So I replaced a Delhi plan with Kerala and the trip was totally worth it! More on that in some other post.

So this trip meant I couldn't go home for more than 5 months. Now even for a guy like me it's long enough to start feeling homesick. The Diwali vacations due in another month or so seemed far away so I decided to plan a short weekend trip for the time being. I booked Rajdhani tickets keeping in mind that I've to spend again for Diwali tickets. I also got a day's leave approved which along with the weekend and ganesh immersion seemed like a long enough 'short trip'.

But a day before I was scheduled to leave for Delhi something came up at work and I had to cancel my ticket and consequently the trip as I didn't want to spend 5k on flight tickets. So to drown my sorrow I went drinking. It seemed like usual beer but as my friend pointed out then it had more than the usual effect that day. I joked how could she be tipsy on two beers. So I returned around midnight and there I was on MakeMyTrip.com. I saw there was a 9 'O clock flight to Delhi. I called My roomie and asked if I should just book it. I got a diplomatic response "if it makes you happy then by all means" which was good enough for me then. So there I took out my credit card and Air India Xpress got richer by about 5 grands. I got the confirmation email but what I read got me completely out of the beer high that I was enjoying. It said

Itinerary and Reservation Details

Air India Express IX-143 Departure New Delhi (DEL) Sat, 18 Sep 2010, 09:30 hrs Arrival Mumbai (BOM) Sat, 18 Sep 2010, 11:45 hrs Non-Stop Flight Duration: 2h 15m Non-Refundable Fare Cabin:Economy

Passenger Name Type Airline PNR Mr kanishk arya Adult IX08264821

In case you missed it too it says from DELHI to MUMBAI. I'm sure I read this at least a dozen times. I just couldn't believe my luck. I also noticed that the ticket was "Non-Refundable". I don't remember how many call centers I called that night but I do remember that i found out that Air India Xpress has NONE. They've nothing to do with Air-India except the fact that they use air-crafts deemed unfit by Air India after use. (And there I was already wondering if I can enter the duty free as this was an International connecting flight)

I finally recovered as much as I could and then I started doing some math. I was 3k down for no good reason but if I put in 5k more then Delhi will welcome me with both hands :)

I booked the ticket again after CAREFUL scrutiny. The flight was scheduled for departure at 6 in the morning so I decided not to sleep at all. Instead I reached the airport early and checked-in (How would they leave w/o me now? :D)

I decided I won't tell anyone about this height of stupidity (of course most of my friends knew about this before I caught the flight).

For the record I'm not reckless with money and hence I decided to not celebrate my Birthday which was due next week (Like that was gonna happen) ;)

No More a Virgin

I still remember when the peer pressure got the better of me. The sheer fun and pleasure made me go over to the other side. It was first year of college and despite of everything I'd been taught, I was able rationalize it nonetheless. Since then I've always tried to help others realize what they're missing out on.

People have their reasons too - Religious, ethical or mere choices they make to prove to themselves that they're in control. I've realized it's not appreciated when the 'beliefs' are questioned and hence I avoid it. Although the pleasure in seeing people appreciate the other side when they decide to move over is worth the effort being put in to 'change' them.

One such conversion took place today. When subway delivered subs which were marked incorrectly. A dear colleague of mine who boasts or rather used to boast of being a 'pure vegetarian' had nibbled a couple of bites before he could realize that what he's eating doesn't taste like the Veggie Delite he ordered but had gotten swapped with the Chicken Tikka. He immediately gulped down the whole bottle of Mango Slice to cleanse himself but it was too late. He knew it was too late. The chicken was inside him. He couldn't boast anymore and everyone knows the first time might take time but once you're on the other side There's no stopping you :)

Romance in Office

I miss being in college... people didn't pretend to like you. You didn't have to listen to them blabbering about their sad lives. The guy from college who wouldn't dare opening his mouth knowing very well the consequences can now act all cool under the blanket protection office brings him.

The Dull Office with masks all around. Everybody playing the nice guy. "We're one big family" is the slogan being preached. Add chemical X(femme fatale) into the whole equation...

And suddenly the place is not that boring anymore. The masks have been taken off. The real people are back. The order is disturbed. Suddenly it's the most 'competitive' and 'happening' place in town. People are mean again. They are ready to fight again. They are living again.

Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!- Joker

People are in at time again. Initiative are taken like initiatives again. College life can be tasted again. 'Love' is in the air again or may be its just the monsoons...

People are talking again, actually talking. The buzz is back. Adrenalin rush can be felt again. Phones are ringing again. Messages are being sent again. There are 'common' goals again. Getting embarrassed again.

                 We are 'We' again

Some Recommendations:
The Reason
What not to do on valentine's day

The Original Bicycle Diaries

Long time ago I ventured into the unknown. The land far far away. Despite all the warnings, the arguments and after a lot of thinking I finally decided to go and face the world down under... Well lets cut the crap. I went to Chennai for my summer internship at IIT Madras during my college days. The campus was huge and hence I got myself a bicycle(read bike). Well I did know 'one' soul in the city, a friend from college who was interning close by at IIMSC which was about 2 Kms away from the IIT hostel gate. So here is what happened...

One fine day he was nice enough to call me to go out with him and his friends. He knew I was pretty much alone so won't even give it a second thought. The movie was 'ok' but the people's reaction to Rajinikanth's 'Shivaji' was a lot of fun. Beach after that was nice too and then we got back to his dorm. Now it was past 1 AM and I couldn't see anyone on the streets well that's how it is over there. I expressed some concern about getting back in one piece and his friends offered me to stay back in the dorm but he 'suggested' I should head to IIT. His last words were "Don't worry man."

The anger and annoyance made me 'kick-start' my bike and there I left for a life altering experience. I decided to take the 2 Km shortcut which was like the narrows as there was no way that I'd ride for 8 Kms to reach my room. As soon as I entered the haunted road a couple of dogs started barking at me. I told myself that the protocol dictates that I should stay calm, So I did but I thought the smarter thing would be to act calm but paddle faster. They kept chasing me nonetheless. Then there was another left cut. As soon as I turned I realized they've got some reinforcements. Five or six dogs after my life on a dark narrow road. Now there was no time for games. I was riding a fast as I could and asking myself why the hell did I buy a second hand one as paying 5 times more for a new one is definitely worth it if it saves my life right? Then I started cursing Menaka Gandhi, Changi(The Friend) and swore to take their lives if I could save mine.

Then, right then it struck me, I watched this program on discovery channel where this scientist goes to a jungle with the objective of scaring away a tiger. He stretched his arms and roared and It Worked. The idea is if you can prove to the animal that you're stronger than him then they'll leave. So I tried to do the same but the roar somehow came out like a scream(i guess) and the dogs became wilder. Now I thought there's no way I'm reaching IIT but somehow managed to gather enough courage to 'roar' again and guess what they came to an immediate halt. I hailed in triumph telling myself "who's the man!". I finally looked forward as the dogs had stopped chasing me and I realized I'm on the extreme right of the narrow road and there was an SUV right in front of me. Well it was parked but I was traveling at the speed of light. It was too late to apply brakes. The only thought that came to my mind was

Man I can't believe my luck.

I crashed with half of me on the bonnet.

I got back on my feet I was feeling no pain so I assumed I'm not that badly hurt. The dogs seemed confused too, now staring from some distance. I tried to pick up my bike and start moving again but something was not right. The front bar connecting the front wheel to the body of the bike had turned 90 degrees. So there I was stuck in the middle of nowhere. I decided to do something before the dogs run out of patience so I jumped into the house i had crashed in front of. I tried calling Changi but he didn't answer to save the incoming charges while roaming. Now I started remembering how I noticed that every house on this road seemed to have a pet. Finally I heard a voice, an auto driver who lived next door and was woken up due the noise, took me back to IIT with my bike and refused to take money. True Story.

P.S. For a funnier version of the same story please checkout http://dynamicquality.blogspot.com/2007/06/bicycle-diaries-part-i.html

People I don't get at all:

1. Who don't like Chocolate.
2. Who question the awesomeness of Beer.
3. Who don't worship Sachin Tendulkar.
4. Who haven't watched Dark Knight Yet.
5. Who Diet.
6. Who mix upper and lower case letters in a word tHInKinG its cool.
7. Who dance in Hard Rock Cafe.
8. Who talk slowly (kills me from inside).
9. Who don't munch at night.
10. Who follow a strict schedule.
11. Who come for dinner but aren't hungry because they had a glass of MILK before they left from home.
12. Who don't love HOUSE and SHELDON.
13. Who aren't in LOVE with Bombay.

Well this can go on for a while...

Bombayites

City of Dreams attracts a variety of people. I think once you've lived here for some time you can start understanding the demography. You can tell one kind* from the other. Here's an attempt to identify the different kinds..


1. Local experts (Of the trains I mean): They'll know everything there is to know about the locals and not only about the stations within Bombay but Virar, Titwala and some more names I get to read on the trains. They can be quite helpful especially for a newbie but don't expect them to know much outside of their expertise(i.e. the locals).

2. L.B.S. dudes: Their bombay starts from Mulund and ends at Ghatkopar. Nirmal lifestyle and R-City Ghatkopar form an important part of their lives...

3. Gujjus: The North western bombayites. The rich business class. Met a few, they turned out to be a lot sweeter than my expectation.

4. Bandraites: The so-called happening crowd. The place is quite an attraction and so are the people, from the girl next door to Sachin Tendulkar. Though they're not known for venturing out of Bandra much.

5. Town side folks: Town-side or the So-called Real Bombay, and I think rightly so, is full of Big Shots and their offices. The best part is the restaurants, pubs, Marine Drive and what not. I found the people there to be much nicer than they get credit for. And of course their Bombay finishes at Dadar in the north.

6. Self-Proclaimed Bombayites: The Thaneites, Navi mumbaians, Virarians and all the people living close to Bombay but not in Bombay. Before this turns into a controversy let me clarify that I'm not questioning your 'Right' over bombay but just some light-hearted humour.

7. Inquisitive Immigrants**: They know it all and they love the city. They're everywhere and Bombay is full of them. Their love for the town amazes and annoys their hometown folks. They infuse life in the city and are the future 'Localites'.

* The insecure ones with a propaganda who can't share the city won't find a mention.
** The disloyal, thankless ones who can't stop complaining about everything won't find a mention over here either.