Epiphany

I grew up in a society which used to be quite peaceful then. The local shops and vendors would recognize me and tend to know most people by name. There used to be a fixed shop for groceries, for stationery etc. There also used to be this roadside juice vendor where we used to go have juice quite regularly.

With time a lot of new shops and malls begun to open up. A new juice shop also opened giving it some competition with more options better fruits and some sitting arrangement. Not to forget it had an electric machine which means quicker service and hence a more favorable option among the two.

Years passed and I've been living away for so long that I didn't even remember that there was ever a juice cart outside my colony. This time when I visited home I happened to pass by the same spot. That juice cart was still there. He'd grown quite old now, lesser fruits on his cart, far lesser hope on his face. He looked up and nodded to acknowledge that he knows who I am, I nodded back in despair for him.

What did I see?
Stagnation, despair, grim reality.

What did I learn?
You can either move forward with the world or get left behind to be despised later.

Change is inevitable.

Happy Birthday

Birthdays are over-rated is what I used to think at one point of time. A small party at home used to suffice and the best part was/is that i could ask mom to make anything I like :)
With time things changed and then came a curse... Whatever I might do my b'day plans used to crash in vain. So much so that after a point I started dreading my b'day. It was depressing to say the least.

I came to Bombay and it was a 'failed b'day plan' in the making. That's when I put my foot down and went off the leopold and was carried out of hard rock. I had a smile on my face remarking that I've ended the curse, I've drank it down, I've smoked it up.

I still remember the b'day the last b'day I spent with dad when he took me out for dinner. I still wish I should have talked more enjoyed more but i guess it's true when grown up children sit with their parents nothing much is really talked about. I wish I could change that.

It's important to have memorable birthdays because then you remember what you did and how you felt then in which case Birthdays also act as reality checkpoints.
We can evaluate how much have we grown in the last year or two?
Are we doing what we wanted to and promised ourselves to be doing?
Are we happier?

But the most revolutionary change that one can notice is the way our relationships change with people.
Sometimes someone we didn't even know till last b'day becomes too important this time while the special someone from last time might be completely missing from the frame this time around.
It can be quite overwhelming sometimes.

Empty

I envy little babies - Innocent, cute, carefree, lovable and loving.

Then comes experience and it takes away from us one thing after another.
May be that's what growing up is - Building your resume, new relationships and stories each wearing you away, making you a lesser version of yourself, emptying you out.

Innocence goes away first.
You can't afford to be carefree.
Love is a sin.

You run from all the things you hate in this world until one day you give in and become one of them and then you ask why do you hate yourselves ? Why do you feel so empty ?

You won the battle but lost the war.

Bombay

I still remember my first train ride to this city. The excitement of finally going to bbay (previously i had to cancel twice) and this time it wasn't supposed to be just a trip. Initially it seemed very much like delhi because of hindi being the preferred language. But very soon I began to see the difference. This wasn't just another city. This wasn't just another seaside. This is Bombay !!

There is something about this city, something which can only be felt although I'm still hoping to explain it with this post. There's something in the air as a friend of mine put it and all of us agreed to. There are so many other nice cities in the country but there's something different about  bombay. The madness the rush the freedom the sea the lights the sky scrapers the hotness the rains and "It's my life" attitude makes it the place to be.

I always feel that the city is looking after me, a protective blanket, a feeling of being home and a very happening home at that :)

My balcony view. Courtesy - Nikhil Agarwal

Whenever any of my friends visit I feel like it's my duty to take them around and make sure they love the city which they always do. Although there are some who don't appreciate the awesomeness and I find it extremely difficult to stay friends with them henceforth :P

If you're in town remember that Elephanta caves isn't really bombay but this is - MyMumbaiChecklist.

Quality

Duality applies to Quality as well. Good can't exist without evil, Light has no significance without darkness - Higher(good) quality has no meaning without the lower(bad) one.

Extreme of any good quality turns it into a bad one. Like...

• Cynicism helps but then it invariably leads to paranoia. 
• Confidence turns into cockiness. 
• Desire to succeed turns into an unwillingness towards acceptance of failure.
• Strong leader turns into a dictator.
  

Lack of quality won't solve any problems either. So it's as good as a bad quality when one is incapable of doing what he should. Like...

• Lack of light leads to darkness.
• Lack of cynicism makes one gullible.
• Inability to act makes one the obstacle.

People say pick up positives not negatives but what makes you say that they're exclusive? What makes you think that they're distinct? If good and bad were so different then how could a gray area ever exist?

With great powers come great responsibilities

I know this is cliched and seems irrelevant to us, I mean most of us aren't saving the world in any obvious kind of way. But I still feel that this phrase is quite pertinent to our lives. Our qualities determine our strength as well as weaknesses. They bring us great powers which need to be handled responsibly. We need to maintain balance because either extreme results in something that the quality was there to prevent in the first place. This might explain why happiness, triumph, success and every other thing associated with a good balance are so short lived.

System Restore

I can't recall how many times I used to do a system restore on my old pc. Isn't it brilliant? You don't like it how it's behaving now then just move it back to a state you did like :)

Shanu mentioned to me how it'll be so awesome to download tutorials to learn stuff like they did in matrix and life will be so much easier and fun. It got me thinking. I say let's wish for something much more 'reasonable'. How about a 'System Restore'? Remember the last time you were totally in your 'groove' ? Won't it be awesome to just get that frame of mind restored whenever you like ? It'll be as close to utopia as it could be in my opinion.

Since any new technology is just not satisfying enough and we always want more so I'll pen down my expectations from the System Restore 2.0 right here. It should also have a software update which makes sure we don't repeat mistakes because something that really makes me pull my hair out is having to see myself in the same shit again and again.

Do you have any other 'reasonable' wish ?